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dontwakethedragons:

what-is-gmans-gender:

loveurlittlethings7:

linalovesonedirection:

onedgirl2299:

Good kisser;)


Good kisser

After seeing a strange but convincing post on her dash, Sarah decides to test its theory. She begins holding her breath—an easy task for a first-chair clarinet—and carefully clicks “reblog”. The post becomes lighter as the loading icon appears, spinning in the center like the circle of life itself. Suddenly, her computer shuts down as it runs out of battery. The girl frantically begins searching for her laptop charger, still holding her breath with a determined will. She won’t lose this fight. As her computer begins to turn on, she pounds the wall beside her in frustration as she notices the Windows mandatory update screen—once a simple annoyance, it is now the key that seals her fate. “Come on, come on!” she whispers, afraid to use up too much of her precious air supply, now dwindling as the percentage slowly increases. 35%. Her lungs are on fire, but she cannot give up. 50%. Black spots begin to cloud her vision. 70%. Feeling faint, she leans back and tries to keep her racing mind focused on the task at hand. 85%. Mere seconds remain. 99%. … Just as it hits 100%, her screen comes to life, but the girl can’t take it anymore and promptly passes out, knocking over the poorly-placed lit candle on her dresser. It ignites the pile of school papers on the ground, and within minutes the whole house is ablaze. Fortunately, Sarah lives alone, and only one life is taken in the tragic accident. It’s a shame that she put so much trust in the internet with such a personal matter as kissing. Perhaps she should’ve just asked her girlfriend instead, thus saving all of this trouble.

reblog or sarah’s lips will haunt you and give you bad luck for eight years

dontwakethedragons:

what-is-gmans-gender:

loveurlittlethings7:

linalovesonedirection:

onedgirl2299:

Good kisser;)

Good kisser

After seeing a strange but convincing post on her dash, Sarah decides to test its theory. She begins holding her breath—an easy task for a first-chair clarinet—and carefully clicks “reblog”. The post becomes lighter as the loading icon appears, spinning in the center like the circle of life itself. Suddenly, her computer shuts down as it runs out of battery. The girl frantically begins searching for her laptop charger, still holding her breath with a determined will. She won’t lose this fight. As her computer begins to turn on, she pounds the wall beside her in frustration as she notices the Windows mandatory update screen—once a simple annoyance, it is now the key that seals her fate. “Come on, come on!” she whispers, afraid to use up too much of her precious air supply, now dwindling as the percentage slowly increases. 35%. Her lungs are on fire, but she cannot give up. 50%. Black spots begin to cloud her vision. 70%. Feeling faint, she leans back and tries to keep her racing mind focused on the task at hand. 85%. Mere seconds remain. 99%. … Just as it hits 100%, her screen comes to life, but the girl can’t take it anymore and promptly passes out, knocking over the poorly-placed lit candle on her dresser. It ignites the pile of school papers on the ground, and within minutes the whole house is ablaze. Fortunately, Sarah lives alone, and only one life is taken in the tragic accident. It’s a shame that she put so much trust in the internet with such a personal matter as kissing. Perhaps she should’ve just asked her girlfriend instead, thus saving all of this trouble.

reblog or sarah’s lips will haunt you and give you bad luck for eight years

(Source: gabriellafebles, via eelectrifying)

Posted 3 hours ago

cophineismymorphine:

chocolaty:

slygirl1:

chocolaty:

cashtonsbiceps:

chocolaty:

*starts homework at 11pm on sunday*

Fuck I have homework

you see what i mean

Fuck I cant remember if I had homework or not

this post comes back every sunday and it’s relevant every time

goddammit

(via eelectrifying)

Posted 3 hours ago

gayisthenewokay:

in-toxicatd:

I can’t wait for the day that instead of “It’s late, I have to go.” you will say “It’s late, let’s go to bed.”

this is so cute

(via eelectrifying)

Posted 3 hours ago
edwardspoonhands:

leander-ligo:

lordthundercox:

Yes, it does.

Guys get morning wood because our bladders fill up during the night and begin to press against our prostate, causing arousal. Our dicks don’t just feel the sun coming up and think “My time has come”

Shhhhh…
…boner wave…

edwardspoonhands:

leander-ligo:

lordthundercox:

Yes, it does.

Guys get morning wood because our bladders fill up during the night and begin to press against our prostate, causing arousal. Our dicks don’t just feel the sun coming up and think “My time has come”

Shhhhh…

…boner wave…

(Source: iraffiruse, via eelectrifying)

Posted 3 hours ago

heartmehateme:

shoutout to the friends that still like me

all two of you

(via eelectrifying)

Posted 3 hours ago

kidouyuuto:

if i was a skeleton i would just say “that really rattles my bones” in response to literally everything

(via obamasboyfriend)

Posted 6 hours ago
milfhouse:

did someone run this cat through the dryer

milfhouse:

did someone run this cat through the dryer

(Source: derpycats, via sailorplvto)

Posted 12 hours ago

THIS IS THE DEATH OF BEAUTY

(Source: cinderfell)

Posted 12 hours ago
acharmingdevil:

blaxkdreams:

kimberariel:

aforethot:

empowered00:

A Brazilian man recently submitted a birth certificate that if verified would mean he is 126-years-old.
According to the document, Jose Aguinelo dos Santos, was born on July 7, 1888 to African slave parents.
Once verified he will be the oldest man on the planet.  

But slavery was so long ago…..

Woww

Omg

am I missing something? What does slavery have to do with this?

acharmingdevil:

blaxkdreams:

kimberariel:

aforethot:

empowered00:

A Brazilian man recently submitted a birth certificate that if verified would mean he is 126-years-old.

According to the document, Jose Aguinelo dos Santos, was born on July 7, 1888 to African slave parents.

Once verified he will be the oldest man on the planet.  

But slavery was so long ago…..

Woww

Omg

am I missing something? What does slavery have to do with this?

Posted 12 hours ago

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